As a parent, there are few things more heart-wrenching than seeing your child struggle with their mental health. Whether they’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or simply not like themselves, knowing how to provide the right mental health support can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope—unsure of what will actually help.
I’ve been there, too. My daughter, Lucy, is 11 and attends an international school here in Bali, where children are often navigating more than just their lessons. The combination of different cultures, languages, and even the transient nature of international communities can create unique pressures. Some days she’s full of life, but other times, especially when school stress kicks in, her mood takes a noticeable dip. It’s in those moments that I’ve had to dig deep to find ways to support her. If you’re finding yourself in a similar position, let’s walk through some essential tips together.
Table of Contents
1. Create a Safe Space for Open Conversations
First things first: make sure your child feels safe talking to you. Now, I’m not saying sit them down for a heart-to-heart after every school day (I’ve tried, it doesn’t work). But creating an atmosphere where your child knows they can come to you—without judgment—is crucial. It’s like building a mental health safety net. If they know that you’re there to listen, without freaking out or trying to fix everything instantly, they’re more likely to open up when things get tough.
I learned this the hard way. Once, Lucy came home visibly upset after a rough day with her classmates. My immediate instinct was to dive into problem-solving mode: “What happened? Do I need to talk to someone at school? How can we fix this?” But all she wanted was to vent. Sometimes, offering mental health support means resisting the urge to solve everything for them and instead just being there to listen.
2. Watch for Behavioral Changes
One of the trickier parts of offering mental health support is recognizing when something is off, especially in kids who may not always articulate their feelings. We’re often tuned into looking for signs like sadness or withdrawal, but other changes can be just as telling.
For example, Lucy, who is usually a social butterfly, suddenly started eating lunch alone at school for a few weeks. She didn’t seem sad, but I could tell something was up. After a gentle conversation (again, trying not to “fix” things), she opened up about feeling anxious in a group setting where she didn’t feel included.
What I’m getting at is, sometimes the signs aren’t obvious, but trust your gut when something seems off. Is your child more irritable? Are they sleeping more or less than usual? Changes in behavior can often be your first clue that something’s not quite right.
3. Encourage Physical Activity
We’ve all heard it: exercise is great for your mental health. And that’s not just true for us, it’s true for our kids too! Physical activity helps release endorphins (you know, those “feel-good” chemicals) and can help alleviate stress. Whether it’s dancing around the living room, swimming at the beach, or taking up a new sport, encouraging your child to stay active is a great way to boost their mental health.
When Lucy was in one of her down spells, I noticed her energy was low, and she was becoming more sedentary. Together, we decided to start going for evening walks along the coast. It wasn’t anything rigorous, but it got us both moving and provided some uninterrupted time to chat about anything—or nothing at all. Those walks turned into a simple, yet powerful, form of mental health support.
4. Teach Healthy Coping Mechanisms
I remember growing up thinking stress was something adults dealt with. Oh, how wrong I was. Children, even those in seemingly idyllic settings, experience stress just like we do. It’s important to teach them healthy ways to manage it.
For Lucy, art has become a huge outlet. Whenever she’s feeling overwhelmed, I notice she turns to her sketchpad. One time, after a particularly tough week, she painted an entire scene of the rice paddies we visit on weekends—her way of channeling her emotions. Other kids might prefer writing, listening to music, or even deep-breathing exercises.
The key is helping your child find what works for them. Not all coping mechanisms look the same, and that’s okay. But whatever it is, giving them tools to manage stress will be an invaluable form of mental health support as they grow older.
5. Limit Screen Time
I know, I know, this is a tough one. In today’s world, everything revolves around screens, and it can be tempting to let them watch their favorite YouTubers or play games for hours. But we’ve noticed that when Lucy spends too much time glued to her iPad, her mood often takes a hit.
Research shows that excessive screen time, especially when it comes to social media, can negatively impact mental health. It’s like a double-edged sword—while screens can provide entertainment and even social connections, too much of them can lead to anxiety, especially in young children. Setting healthy limits on screen time (without making it feel like a punishment) is another key part of mental health support.
6. Stay Involved in Their School Life
One thing that has made a difference in Lucy’s mental health is knowing that we’re involved in her school life—without hovering. I’ll admit, finding the balance is tricky. Too much involvement can feel overbearing, but too little can leave them feeling unsupported.
I’ve made it a point to attend parent-teacher meetings and school events, but also to casually ask about her friends and favorite subjects. It’s less about grilling her for information and more about showing interest in her world. Being tuned in to what’s happening at school can give you insight into any potential stressors she might not mention otherwise.
7. Know When to Seek Professional Help
At some point, your child might need more than just your support, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent; it just means your child might benefit from professional mental health support. I know firsthand how hard it can be to make this decision. For a while, I hesitated to reach out to a therapist when Lucy was struggling, worried about what it would mean. But after just a few sessions, the difference in her mood was noticeable.
Therapists, counselors, or school mental health professionals can provide tools and insights that we as parents might not have. If you ever feel like things are getting too heavy, don’t hesitate to seek outside help.
Supporting your child’s mental health can feel overwhelming, but you’re not in this alone. It’s about taking small, meaningful steps—whether through open conversations, physical activity, or professional mental health support—to help them feel heard, understood, and ultimately, empowered. And remember, as you support them, don’t forget to take care of your own mental health too. We’re all in this together.
