Navigating the world of international schooling can sometimes feel like you’re trying to solve a Rubik’s cube with one hand tied behind your back. One minute you’re excited about your child’s new learning environment, and the next you’re confused by the homework portal (why is it always so hard to log in?). Add to that the fact that we’re living in Bali, a beautiful but transient expat haven, and you quickly realize how much you need a solid support system. That’s where parent networks come in.
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Why Parent Networks Matter
Let’s face it—parenting can be tough. And parenting in a foreign country, where you might not be familiar with the education system or the cultural norms, is even tougher. As expats, many of us are miles away from our own families and long-time friends, which makes the role of a parent network even more crucial.
Whether you’re from Germany, South Africa, Japan, or any other part of the globe, we all face similar struggles when it comes to raising our children, especially in a new country. Having a circle of fellow parents you can rely on is essential—not just for emotional support, but for the practical advice that you can only get from someone who’s been through it.
But how do you go about building these parent networks? It’s not as simple as exchanging numbers at a PTA meeting, right?
Well, after years of trial and error, I’ve learned a few key strategies that have helped me build strong, reliable parent networks. And trust me, if I can do it, anyone can!
1. Join the School WhatsApp Group (Yes, Even if You Hate Group Chats)
If there’s one thing that unites parents across continents, it’s the infamous school WhatsApp group. I know, I know—sometimes it feels like you’re being bombarded with a thousand messages a minute, and you’re trying to figure out if any of them are actually relevant to your child. But, hear me out: it’s worth being in there.
The WhatsApp group is the fastest way to stay updated on what’s happening in the school, but more importantly, it’s a direct line to the parent networks that exist within each grade. When someone asks, “Does anyone know what day the school photos are?” you can jump in and say, “No idea, but I’ll check!” Next thing you know, you’re exchanging messages with another parent who’s equally confused. And just like that, you’ve made your first connection.
2. Attend School Events (Even the Ones You’re Not That Excited About)
International schools love their events—cultural days, fundraisers, talent shows, you name it. I’ll be honest, sometimes dragging myself to these things feels like a chore, especially after a long workday. But here’s the secret: these events are gold mines for building your parent network.
At my daughter’s school’s last cultural fair, I got into a long conversation with a mom from New Zealand. We bonded over our confusion about the school’s lunch system (seriously, why is the “healthy option” always sushi?) and swapped tips on finding the best tutors in the area. By the end of the day, we’d exchanged numbers, and now she’s my go-to person for random questions about Bali life.
3. Create Your Own Parent Meetups (Because Waiting for the School to Organize It Isn’t Always Enough)
I’ll let you in on a little secret: sometimes the best parent networks are the ones you build yourself. While the school may host occasional coffee mornings or parent-teacher conferences, you don’t have to wait for them to make things happen.
A few months ago, a small group of us decided to start meeting for breakfast once a month at a local café. We’re a mix of nationalities—Norwegian, Australian, and French—and our kids are in different grades. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re all in this together, navigating the highs and lows of raising children in a foreign country. These meetups have become my sanity check, a place where I can vent, laugh, and share advice. Plus, the croissants are always a nice bonus.
4. Be Honest About Your Struggles (Because Vulnerability Builds Real Connections)
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that honesty is the foundation of any strong parent network. In the beginning, I used to pretend that everything was fine, even when it wasn’t. I didn’t want to seem like I was struggling, especially when other parents seemed to have it all together.
But guess what? Nobody has it all together. When I finally opened up to another mom about how overwhelmed I was with balancing work, school schedules, and family life, she responded with a heartfelt, “Oh, me too!” It was like a weight had been lifted. From that moment on, I realized that vulnerability was the key to building real, lasting connections with other parents.
5. Remember to Give as Much as You Take (Parent Networks Are a Two-Way Street)
It’s easy to think of parent networks as a place where you can get advice and support, but don’t forget that they work best when they’re reciprocal. You’re not just there to ask for help—you’re also there to offer it.
If you hear about an upcoming school deadline that other parents might have missed, share the info. If you’ve found a great extracurricular activity for your child, let others know. Over time, these small gestures build trust and strengthen the bonds within your parent network.
Personally, I’ve learned so much from other parents, and now I make it a point to pay it forward whenever I can. I’ve helped a few families navigate the chaotic process of applying for school visas, shared my go-to babysitter’s contact, and even passed on tips for dealing with the school’s never-ending list of required supplies.
